Thursday, August 27, 2015

Ridin' The Bull In the Baby Department of Wal-Mart

It's 2 a.m. I went to Wal-Mart for light bulbs, ended up ridin' the bull in the baby department...

So, I had a pretty surreal experience at Wal-Mart last week and I thought I’d share some of my amusing photos… It was close to 2 a.m. and I needed some light bulbs for my laundry room. I drove to Wal-Mart and as I was walking into the store, I heard a live rock band blaring away. I asked the people greeter, 'Y'all booking live music now?' She replied, 'We are tonight. It's Midnight Madness to welcome college students back [to Indiana University]. Free food is over there...' I asked if the event was strictly for undergraduates or for all students [since I am still registered as a graduate student] and she said it was open not just to students, but to anybody who happened to be at Wal-Mart. I got there just towards the tail end of the event, so there weren't a whole lot of people left, but the food was still fresh, the band was still playing, and the rides were still riding. First, I checked out the band in the ladies department for a while and chomped on some of the free pizza from the nearby food stands...

The second abnormality I encountered was this bull in the baby department and there is no way I could just walk past it and not give it a go. I don't think I even lasted nine seconds, so I have no idea how I ended up with more than four photos from the ride, but the experience made me laugh for days and days afterwards. 

Basically, the event was structured so that people could go on any ride or game, get tickets for doing the ride or winning the game, then exchange the tickets for prizes at the front of the store near the karaoke station in the eye glass department. Some people got free skateboards or even Fender guitars (!) with the Monster or Mountain Dew logos (or another beverage, I got there too late to see them). Sweet! 

As I walked around the store I saw people playing volleyball in the toy isles, doin’ American Gladiator combat stuff in the lingerie, playing inflatable twister among the sneakers, racing through inflatable obstacle courses in the parking lot, and all sorts of awesome stuff including people sumo wrestling in fat suits in the girls wear...

They also tried to load me up with free whole pizzas, bags of chips, soda, and pies (whole pecan and apple pies!) on my way out, but in the end I just bought my light bulbs, exchanged my ride tickets for three free t-shirts, and laughed a bunch. 

Oh, and I also flipped a bunch in the parking lot!

If only this kind of thing had been around when my buddy Travis and I started our first band together, The Wal-Mart Three-- a band which sang songs exclusively about Wal-Mart (our then employer). We could have easily written another 10-20 songs alone about the bull in the baby department!

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